Stop being so hard on yourself

Your own worst critic?


Being so hard on yourself

It’s not good for your health’

Last week the above words streamed through my earphones. I don’t know how many times I’ve found myself running to music and suddenly thought: these lyrics were made for me right now. On numerous occasions, the words I’ve heard in my ears couldn’t have been more perfect. Some would say a bigger force is at play, others coincidence whilst I sit on the fence and think strange, funny and perhaps a little spooky.

Back to these timely lyrics then. Let’s have some fun and take a guess at what song they’re from – you can email me your answers! (I deliberately don’t have comments turned on here as it’s an open floodgate for spam entries!).

Why then was I drawn to the above words? Because being hard on yourself is a common trait amongst many people I help regardless of age. With their constant negative self-talk, negative thinking and comparison, it’s no wonder that low self esteem and self worth go hand in hand with this.

Negative self-talk

From teens as young as age 11 to outwardly confident parents or professionals, the following type comments are familiar to me:

  • I’m rubbish
  • I’m hopeless
  • Everyone else is better than me
  • I’m not good enough
  • I’ll never be able to
  • Will I ever be …


Who says this? (this answer is often an eye opener!)

Low confidence and self-esteem

Being hard on yourself usually comes with a number of common behaviours including:

  • A lack of confidence and self-esteem
  • Talking yourself down in public
  • Talking yourself down to yourself
  • Thinking everyone else is better / smarter / having a more fun time etc
  • Seeing yourself in a tainted rather than objective light
  • Reserving this harsh treatment only for yourself

No wonder self-confidence is low! By practicing these behaviours to perfection over time, you become an expert in running yourself down.

The first step in improving this is awareness. Do a little self-assessment and answer honestly the following 4 questions:

  1. How well do you treat yourself?
  2. Are you your own biggest fan?
  3. Do you talk yourself up or talk yourself down?
  4. Do you treat yourself as well as you treat others?

So how well did you do? Be honest? 

Without realising, we can easily take on the role of our own biggest critic. And if we spend each and every day listening to ourselves talking ourselves down, its near impossible not to believe it. Any of you who think you’ve never been hypnotised may have just realised that all this time you’ve been your own master hypnotist! 

The fact is that we can all talk a good story. In doing so, we can talk ourselves into or out of anything. Worst still, we can believe it.

Improving Self-worth

To help you leave behind your own biased internal chatter:

  • Be aware of any negative self-talk
  • Choose to be kind to yourself and believe that you matter too
  • Treat yourself as your best buddy

You can also decide that the lyrics in my blog post today were made for you today:


Being so hard on yourself

It’s not good for your health

And as the lyrics go on to say

Let it shine

So what would you do differently if you were to follow the song’s advice and Let it Shine:

  • What would you do differently if you believed you were                    A-W-E-S-O-M-E?
  • What would you stop doing?
  • What would you do more of?
  • What would you say to yourself (you could even write this down in a letter to self if you wish)?
  • What one promise would you make to yourself going forwards?

A few final words from that serendipitous song:

Your time is coming don’t be late

I know that you can change

If you or someone you know would like to improve their confidence and self-esteem, get in touch today by emailing me to fix a short telephone chat to see how I can help.